![]() When we limit each other with a specific love language, we do not allow room for change." "A relationship is a place for transformation and growth. "It promotes codependency and prevents partners from developing autonomy and authenticity," Motamedi adds. Couples who shared the same love language weren't happier than the couples who had differing styles, suggesting mastering fluency over the love language system and adapting it based on what the partner needs at the moment is more valuable than solely relying on a dominant love language type. Indeed, recent research revealed couples being aligned with each other's love language wavelength doesn't exactly mean it makes a successful and happy relationship. Some people can use the love languages theory as a sort of personality test, despite the fact that Chapman's whole point is that we're supposed to adapt ourselves to our partner's love language, not demand they use ours. As popular as the concept is, many people have since pointed out problems with the love languages. Simple.įast-forward to the present day, almost 30 years from the book's publication. It's as easy as reaching out for connection by squeezing their arm while you're watching a movie or tapping their butt when you walk by them. This love language is refreshingly straightforward, easy to satisfy, and doesn't involve a lot of planning, exertion, or money. Touch: Tender caresses and physical affection are everything.Those small gestures can celebrate the relationship in a big way. It could be as simple as a hand-picked flower from the garden or getting them a cute keychain from a favorite travel destination. Win extra Brownie points with a "just because" gift. Gifts: They will remember the special occasions, so make sure to mark it on the calendar and honor the day and your partner with a thoughtful gift.Those little acts add up and can make all of the difference. Display vigilance by anticipating how you could make their life easier. Don't always make it about chores-people have different interpretations of what this love language means to them, so ask them directly what they need. Acts of service: Go above and beyond with your actions to show your love.It could be as simple as going for a walk together outside (an exciting pandemic activity) and having a good in-depth conversation about your day. Quality time: Carve out intentional space in your schedule for time together.Try not to engage in nonconstructive criticism-words have an impact and leave a lasting impression. When you notice the good things, say it and say it often. ![]() Err on the side of positivity, and communications will flourish. Words of affirmation: Words mean everything, so choose them wisely. ![]()
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January 2023
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